The Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, had what was described as a 'near-miss' with intelligent thought today, while cycling along Shaftesbury Avenue.
The incident occurred when Mr Johnson was cycling without his bike, and intelligent thought nearly ran into him three miles away in Limehouse.
'This highlights, highlights the need to, er, to make sure intelligent thought is regularly regulated. Or not', he said, to a passing pigeon, 'and highlights the essential necessitur to heil, to height, to h-di-hi the whatsit, whenever I sound like cross between George W Bush and Prince Philip. Which is all the time.'
Intelligent thought can be extremely dangerous to Conservative politicians, as the total lack of any of their MPs in Scotland and hardly any in Northern England shows, as does their unelectable policies and feeble leader.
'I'm not feeble', said that leader, David Cameron, 'I just look, act and talk like a feeble politician. Under THIS government -', but people were contemplating committing suicide by throwing themselves in front of London lorries, rather than listen to another word from the vapid Tory.
'At least it got me in the news', Boris Johnson said, 'I don't do anything as Mayor, so nearly being hit by intelligent thought is surprising stuff.'
George W Bush sent an email to the London Mayor, saying 'Next time you cycle without your cyclone, make sure your sickle isn't in a prickled walnutty.' Intelligent thought is 3 this week.