David Cameron, future puppet master of the whole world has revealed his expenses to the world.
In the 47 page document, it can be seen that David claimed for 3 new Boris Johnson's, a year's supply of hair gel, three Iced Gem lettuces, a packet of Monster Munch, tickets to take Barack O'Bama to a football match (unused)and a life time supply of hypocrisy. He also retained the use of a Robot Butler, a Zebra, and for the whole of London Zoo.
'Yes, you see' said the Hirsute Tory Leader 'I can claim for all of this, because I need it for my job. I am attacking Hazel Blears and all of these people, and yet I have claimed far more money, but I can rest in peace, knowing that I will have a much bigger mess to clear up than this, when I am in power' he said, smirking.