An old crow launched an anti-European campaign from a tree in Little Twiglett-by-the-Nest today, and was soon joined by a blackbird, a starling, and three barn owls.
The crow cawed: 'It's the 21st. century, I regularly fly to France to get my worms, and the massive EU is now a reality, so it might seem somewhat pointless to start this NO2EU thing.'
And the starling, pausing merely to impersonate a squeaky, rusty gate, said 'I'm against the European Union, because those blasted Italians ate my aunt for dinner last year! Their rubbish bins have good stuff to eat, though, far healthier than the crap in the British ones.'
And one of the barn owls screeched 'Look, it's not that we violently hate Europeans, or anything, or that we're living in the past, oh no. It's getting that miserable, fat slug off the front pages, you know, the leader of the We Hate Everybody Who Isn't A Fat Miserable Slug Party ...'
NO2EU hopes to change Britain from being a peaceful, business partner within the EU into a trade union-run throwback to the 1960s, the era that led to two of the most extreme and destructive governments in world history, run by Harold Wilson and then Margaret Thatcher, so it may not have too much success with British wildlife.
The crow added 'Listen, OK, it's a gimmick to get people to deliver me more worms, and will be wrapping chips by this time tomorrow. Oh well ...', and promptly flew away, straight into the jaws of a nearby pig that had escaped from Westminster City Farm, in Parliament Square.