Written by Michael Simmonite
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Topics: miners, Walking, mountain

Wednesday, 20 March 2002

image for Smiling Norman Tossed Off By Loose Slag
Norman poses on top of Slag

The earth certainly moved for lucky Norman Gingham last Saturday night.

"What an experience," he told us from his home yesterday. "It's the first time anything remotely like this has happened to me, I can tell you. What a bloody night that was!"

Norman, who lives in the old mining village of Blogwell in Nottinghamshire, was out taking his dog, Trevor for his usual evening walk. "We were half way up Dingle Hill, when suddenly the ground started shaking. Then a huge crack appeared before my very eyes. To put it mildly, I was bloody fucking terrified, I can tell you - and I could see that Trevor was a bit surprised too."

Luckily for Norman and Trevor they were thrown off the summit and away down the hill - which is an old slag-heap - by a landslide of loose shale which, thankfully, took them away from the danger.

A local surveyor told us: "There is a lot of subsidence in the area, and - although it is very rare - this can result in an explosion caused by trapped gas being suddenly unleashed. Consequently these mini tremors do occur on rare occasions. Norman and Trevor were very lucky they weren't subjected to an earth shattering blow job - or even swallowed!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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