The Queen announced today to a stunned nation that she will be stepping down from her 56 year reign and in an astonishing break with Royal Protocol and tradition has appointed Gurkha mouthpiece Joanna Lumley as her successor.
Prince Charles was reportedly upset and confused by the dramatic announcement, and went off to clear his thoughts and compose himself by talking to some geraniums about architecture.
The ex Ab Fab, New Avengers, and Sapphire And Steel star was said to be flattered and honoured by the decision to crown her as the head of state and the Church Of England.
"Wow," she said, seemingly lost for words for a change.
A palace staff member told us that the Queen felt she had had enough of being Queen and wanted to retire to a gated community on the Costa Blanca to see her days out in sunshine, and with a bit of privacy.
It appears that the Queen nominated the angelic actress her successor because Charles was 'too boring' and her grandsons were 'incorrigible pissheads.'
More when we get a knighthood.