Conservative MP for Gosport, Sir Peter Viggers has become the latest victim of the MP 'snouts in the trough' expenses scandal following revelations that he claimed thousands of pounds of taxpayers money for the garden at his Stubbington home.
Outraged MPs and citizens heard how Viggers had claimed for a 'Duck Island Hotel' for his garden pond. The hotel features valet car parking, en suite facilities, cable TV, wireless internet access, child minding service, trouser press, use of a gymnasium and spa, Michelin starred restaurant, room service, complimentary daily newspaper, air conditioning, and masseuse service with choice of relief.
David Cameron took objection to the claim, telling us that he couldn't understand why the Duck Hotel was offering a complimentary daily newspaper when everybody knows that Ducks can't read because they are naturally dyslexic. He slammed the claim as 'needlessly excessive.'
Sir Peter insisted that he was only trying to make the poor little ducky wuckys as comfy pie as possible and has promised to stand down at the next election.
Gosport Borough is plagued by issues of homelessness and widespread drug abuse which probably won't be eased by the provision of the duck hotel.
More as we get it.
Update: Sir Peter Viggers sacked today. Do Nothing Dave actually did something for once.