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Wednesday, 20 May 2009

image for Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Superpranny, being helicoptered to an underwater darts match
Superpranny's grandfather, Prince Adolph of Nuremberg

As MPs in Westminster reeled under continual media attacks, today it was the turn of the Royal Family. Their caped crusader relation, Superpranny, who single-handedly defeated the Iraqis last year, was helicoptered by the Army to an underwater darts match, 32 miles from his house, Windsor Bungalow, costing £13 million of taxpayers' money.

When asked about the ridiculous waste of money, he said: 'Look, you know, it's jolly hard work being a superhero. One day I'm fighting in Afghanistan, the next day I'm saving endangered animals, thank goodness I'm not just an inbred clown whose entire fictional life is invented by the press!'

And indeed Superpranny's heroics have inspired many British people, such as Prince Hardlyworththemoney, Prince Charlatan, and Princess Caramella Barking-Foals, and some have even called for Superpranny to be made into a living saint.

But Mafia boss Benny the Nazi refused to allow it, saying: 'The day someone living is made into a saint is the day Catholic girls stop seeing statues weep, and Virgin Marys appearing in their bedrooms.'

'Or start seeing them at Italian football matches, in front of thousands of witnesses. No, Superpranny must carry on with his amazing feats without my help. Anyway, his great-great-great-great grandfather-in-law put me out of business in England.'

Superpranny himself was once again flying across the sky, aided only by his special powers, and twelve RAF helicopters, to go and save his father from doing a day's work. 'He'll thank me for this!', the caped crusader shouted to the thousands of journalists following in his trail, to scavenge for any news items he was leaving behind.

'Then I'm off to win the war against terror in Arabia, and the war against poverty in Africa, and the war against upper class twits with no brains appearing on TV, being a pestilential nuisance to millions of British people and a total waste of money! Toodle pip!'

Prince Charlatan was seen scratching his head, muttering 'What exactly does it all mean? Why am I Prince of Wales? Where is my copy of 'Superpranny and the Philosopher's Million-Pound Phonebill, Paid For by the Taxpayers'? Caramella', looking to the sky, 'is it a bird? Is it a plane?'

'No, it's Superpranny, coming to save you from doing anything except waffling drivel about gardening and animals, and never doing a day's work. Let's go to Wales for the day.'

'Where's Wales?'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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