As London's sewer system becomes increasingly overworked by the sheer volume of sewage generated by the capital's population, London Mayor, Boris Johnson has come up with a radical new plan in an effort to ease the crippling burden on the sewer network.
He proposes that Londoners should start tucking into lots of eggs, preferably boiled eggs, in a bid to induce mass constipation. The theory goes that egg-bound people don't produce much sewage, thus giving sewer engineers time to make essential repairs.
But the suggestion has come in for widespread criticism. One opponent told us that we weren't getting the full story, that Boris Johnson also intended to limit sales of sewage inducing products, such as curries, kebabs, Guinness, licorice allsorts, and prunes.
It was further suggested that should the egg induced constipation segment of the plan pass off without incident, little consideration had been given to the likely fallout which will be incurred when the river bursts its banks, so to speak.
"I predict we'll be in for the mother of all shitstorms when the constipation phase passes," said activist Lily Allen, who talks nothing but shit at the best of times.
More as we get it.