Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 18 May 2009

image for Speaker Speechless Guilty As Hell Will Have Bagpipes Rammed Up His...
A Proper Speaker Today.

Speaker of The House, Michael Martin today found he was lost for words for the first time in his life as MPs from all parties gathered around to put the boot in.

Looking pale and frail and sounding not at all like your average Saturday night gobshite Glaswegian, the Speaker faced his critics after roundly condemning MPs for their contributions towards the expenses scandal currently dogging UK politics, when he, himself, had his snout as deep into the trough as the most guilty.

The Speaker tried to worm his way around the House with a bravura display of humility which savvy MPs saw right through. A stuttering, stammering, pathetic attempt to regain some credibility at a point when all credibility had long since evaporated.

Michael Martin was sentenced to have a set of bagpipes (which he so loves) rammed up his arse past the drone.

Or probably should have been.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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