A large, corpulent, beligerent,indignant, self righteous, and unapolagetic sack of horse shit was at the centre of a storm today over its use of public funds to finance several MP's.
Other sad sacks claim the offending sack was perfectly capable of talking his own sackful of crap without assistance from a bunch of MP's, one of whom was already paid for. The exotic "shovel load" known only as Sackov Venality was facing the sack today following the outcome of an internal investigation and purge beginning from the bottom up. Mr Venal was said to be lying esconced in one of his rural retreats away from the muck rakers in the City.
We tracked Sackov to the village of wool, in Ba, ba, blacksheepshire. Our photographer found Mr Venality in possession of three suspicious bags which, their owner claims belong to,"the master, The Dame and, The little boy who lived down the lane" On further investigation, we discovered a "loo paper trail" that lead to an elaborate scam that makes you, the unsuspecting taxpayer foot the bill for MP's sacks of shit, rural retreats, tennis courts and mortgage payments on properties that dont exist.
I think its disgusting that a bag of manure should be claiming expenses on MP's that do nothing remotely useful and often dont even exist, claimed an irate lightbulb. "I am glowing with rage, claimed a chadellier that I too, was not purchased under an MP's fiddled expenses account". A local village pig, the "Tam Dalyell" was unrepentant following the disclosure of his claim for an eye watering £18,000 with which to purchase a set of bookcases to store his crap.: "I wanted a large fiddled bookcase not a shoddy one, just before I retire", Former Labour MP Tam Dalyell claimed.
In other news, its reported that a "Gravy train" has been de-railed near the city of Westminster in London