Written by Seamus Nottrew

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Friday, 15 May 2009

image for Wharfedale Asked To Supply New Commons Speaker
A new Speaker

Wharfedale, part of the International Audio Group, have been asked to supply a new Speaker for the House Of Commons. It is understood they were approached by a number of MP's who were distinctly unhappy with what they were hearing from the current model.

One MP told us, "We've had this one nine years now and the output quality has deteriorated over time. There is a leak of information somewhere and we're just not getting the clarity required. A good speaker should be able to withstand intense sound pressure levels without distorting and sadly the Michael Martin 2000 is not up to the task."

A spokesperson for the audio company said that as the MP's wanted to see the back of the Speaker, they could do this in a nice panelled oak to sit well with the Commons interior. He suggested something from their High End Prestige range, but it would come at a considerable cost. The MP's are happy that if they get the Speaker they want it can be written down to expenses. As one commented, "Order. Order."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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