A new political party was founded today ahead of the European and local elections.
Headed by Sir John Bourne, former first class traveller (with wife, care of the taxpayer), the "Expense Party" is unusual in as much as it has no manifesto, doesn't bother with kissing sick-dribbling babies on doorsteps, and doesn't give a monkey's about any of its constituents.
At a lavish launch and 7-course lunch, funded by London Council Tax Payers, and held in the GLC headquarters, the new party's secretary, Con Cash, outlined their plans in the lead up to the elections.
Mr Cash said that the main aim of the party was to get as many people as possible elected and into the House of Commons so they could immediately claim expenses for second, third and fourth homes, many of which would be rented out to provide a second, third and fourth income anyway. He also said that too few people were able to do this in the course of daily business.
The party's stationery consists solely of petrol receipts, lunch receipts, video receipts and moat-cleaning receipts, and the party intends to employ thirty people just to fill these in and submit them on a twice-daily basis.
Mr Cash concluded that he felt their unashamed honesty at being in it for the cash should come as a breath of fresh-air. "We don't see why it should be left just to the national lottery to create millionaires."