Written by Bunty
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Topics: The Spoof, Democrats

Friday, 2 July 2004

image for Lib Dems Join The Great "Choice" Debate
Tough Choices for Charles

It has been the choice word of the political classes all summer, and now finally the Liberal Democrats have entered the great debate about choice in public services. Speaking inclusively to The Spoof this morning, Lid Dem leader Charles Kennedy outlined his party's alternative to Labour and the Tories:

"Both parties talk about how they will improve the country by introducing choice into public services. Yet the path they have chosen will simply impose choice on the British public. We will argue for the need to consult the public by way of a referendum to give them the option of choosing choice or choosing an alternative to choice."

When pressed, Kennedy admitted that his party had not yet decided what these alternatives will be.

"At this stage, the shadow shadow cabinet and I have chosen to narrow the list of alternatives down to 5, and we are due to meet next week to choose which one represents the best alternative. Once we have made our choice, we will make an announcement to Parliament at a time of our choosing. We may even choose the option of allowing the public to choose between choice and more than one alternative to choice. However my personal opinion is that we should not choose to give them the choice between choice and all of the 5 alternatives to choice, as people can be notoriously choosey."

At this point, several reporters made the wisest choice of all, and headed to Belle's café for full English with the choice of a cup of tea or coffee.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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