Beloved children literature character and world renowned cartoon idol, Winnie the Pooh was arrested this morning in his hideout deep in the Hundred Acer Woods. Legal spokesperson for Scotland Yard stated that Mr. W.T. Pooh was arrested on the charge of murder in the first degree and that proof is positive as Mr. Pooh was seen committing the crime by a Mr. Rabbit, who also lives in the gated community where Mr. Pooh resides.
At the inquest this afternoon, Mr. Pooh broke down and admitted the facts of the murder and will plead Guilty to all counts. "There was nothing else I could do." Mr. Pooh stated. "When the pig sneezed he had to die. It was in the best interests of the world health to nip this Swine Flu thing in the bud."
Services for Mr. Piglet, late of the Hundred Acer Woods Tree #7, will be held at the Anglican Church of the Madonna, East Shropshire, Wales on Sunday Next. Spokespersons for the AA Milne family and the Walt Disney Corporation expressed shock and sadness with the passing of Mr. Piglet and the loss of future revenue caused by this terrible crime.
In a similar story breaking in Hollywood CA, USA, Kermit the Frog, well known Television, Movie, and Recording star was found dead in his California home late yesterday.
Emergency responders we unable to revive Kermit and he was pronounced dead at the scene.
LA County Police spokesman stated that an emergency autopsy had determined that although Kermit died from natural causes the strain of Swine Flu which killed him could only have come from a close acquaintance.
California District Attorney Linda Busybody has issued an APB for a Ms. Piggy, close friend of Kermit and frequent overnight guest of the deceased. Ms. Piggy was last seen in a 2009 Rolls Royce Silver Ghost being driven by a mutual acquaintance, a Mr. F. Bear.
The couple was heading North on US 5 at a high rate of speed. Anyone seeing this car and/or these persons should contact the LA Police Department or the FBI (Froggy Bureau of Investigation) as soon as possible.
Do not attempt to stop these possible fugitives without access to HASMAT clothing and training.