The husband of Home Secretary Jaquie Smith, is trying alternative therapies in a desperate bid to break his addiction to watching porn at the taxpayers expense.
Apparently, he has been seen making frequent visits to the Ho Li Titwank oriental massage parlour, which is run from a semi-detached house on a less than salbrious estate on the outskirts of Redditch.
On a recent visit to a holiday camp for paedophiles and perverts where she was handing out long service medals to the inmates, The Home Secretary commented 'I havent actually visited the massage parlour myself. However I did speak on the phone to my husband while he was there. He tells me the treatment is going well and is looking forward to a happy ending'