Stephen Fry admitted to cheating on his expenses today, and was immediately arrested by police acting on the orders of the Government and taken to an undisclosed maximum security police station.
In a hastily arrange press conference, the Home Secretary announced a massive breakthrough in the MPs' expenses fraud investigation.
"As you will know," she began, "The House has been rocked by allegations of expenses abuse and corruption at all levels. You may have wondered why these stories were not explained or refuted by the parties involved. Well, I can now tell you that we were all subject to a supression order put in place until the real culprit could be apprehended."
"It is my pleasure to announce that earlier today, police, acting on information gleaned from the extensive investigation of the BBC website, arrested a man. That man has now been charged with cheating his expenses, and has admitted to the charge."
"I'm sure you will all want to join the Prime Minister and myself in congratulating the police for resolving the issue so emphatically. As a direct result of the arrest, the Metropolitan Police clear-up rate has gone up 40%. We can now put this whole unfortunate issue of expense fraud behind us and move forward."