Written by Kidney Stone
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Topics: Gordon Brown

Monday, 11 May 2009

image for A Song for Gordon
Taking The Mic Key

Going to public meeting and finding out that the public address system not working is commonplace when there has been an outcry from the public. This was what was planned to happen at Stafford when a public enquiry was due to be held on 5th May 2009 regarding all the recent deaths at Stafford Hospital.

So, on May 5th, the staff responsible for the public address system did their usual to ensure the system would not work and made it look as if it was a fault which lasted several days and it wasn't fixed until the following week. But little did they know that Gordon Brown and some of his colleagues were due to be guests in a meeting in the Council Chambers on Friday 8th May and so something had to be done to get the public address system working for when Gordon was there.

It was vital that Gordon was heard clearly as this was his last speech before all the news about MPs expenses were made public, so the only way they would get this up and running in time was to use an older analogue system with radio microphones, and a local radio ham known locally as "Staff Nurse" was listening in and realised what was going on.

Being very much against New Labour, Staff Nurse had a plan and so searched his collection of records for an appropriate song from 1978.

While Gordon was speaking, Staff Nurse started playing a recording of Jilted John and transmitted part of it over the airwaves at the frequency picked up by the public address system. Suddenly, the Gordon Brown's speaking was drowned out by "But I know he's a moron, Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron" and it finished with "This is Staff Nurse letting you know what we think of Gordon".

Not one person in the Council Chambers could keep a straight face and there were grins everywhere - except for Gordon whose look was his usual dithering way - he looked as if he wasn't aware of what happened and hadn't paid any attention to what everyone else in the chamber had heard. Bill Cash, MP for Stafford and David Kidney, MP for Stone were sitting next to Gordon at the meeting.

There will now be a public enquiry into why the public address installed in the building wasn't working at one of the most important times but that won't take place until the public address system has been fixed.

Now that is a first for a long time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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