Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: CIA, MPs, Expenses

Monday, 11 May 2009

image for Brit MP's expense claims revealed to the CIA
MP's claim expenses for luxury callgirls, come back Maggie all is forgiven!

Brit MP's after being caught with their pants down by cashing in on very dubious expense claims are now to be scrutinised by an independent body according to themselves? (well the non-corrupt one left over!)

Many of our fab MP's feel it is quite OK, old bean, to cash in on necessary expenses due to the nature and stress of their very demanding job.

Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) sent one of their star reporters to investigate these dubious claims. Jagged's most evil reporter "Jack The Six Legged Tripper" was sent to the Commons via Londons very ancient and revolting, sewer network. He ended up in the bog of Welsh Nationalist MP, Boyo Llewelyn-Welsh Choir Boy-Jones.

Jack The Tripper, relayed the following, shocking expenses claim directly back to CIA headquarters:

1) Twice weekly visit from a luxury, massively boobed, cocoa coloured Callgirl, reason: When MP Boyo is away from the "Valleys" and his wife he must have sex at least two times a week to reduce his testosterone levels allowing a "well balanced and non - corrupt mind" = 600,00 Pounds.

2) Weekly copies of Hustler, Playboy and Deep Throat Anal, needed in case his favourtie Callgirl is busy with another frustrated MP and has to take things into his own hands + 2 bottles of Don Perignon, boyo = 130,00 Pounds.

3) 5 Star luxury hotel suite + booze for visit of luxury Callgirl, MP Boyo, bless him, morally driven to save taxpayers money and refuses to have his own luxury Condo. Hotel luxury suites are cheaper and easier to avoid the "Rat-Press" and their waiting hyena-Paparazzi = 450,00 Pounds

4) Hire of a chauffered stretch-limo, Monday - Friday, necessary for visit of colleagues of fav Callgirl, change of venue for a roving gangbang or two + Champers and caviar for licking off of the buttocks. Needed to avoid the Demonic eyes of awaiting hyena-Paparazzi and avoid Welsh National Party scandals = 1200,00 Pounds.

By this time star cockroach reporter "Jack The Middle- Legged Tripper" was wanking himself to death and promptly put a claim in at the CIA for the following expenses, 2 kilos of very ripe horse manure, stinking! 5 litres of coagulated human blood and as a special treat, 2 piles of human excrement for a legs up Shindig at CIA headquarters = approved!

Who would want to be a star reporter, give me a job as a corrupt, useless, tosser MP any day!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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