Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 11 May 2009

image for Jungle Based Romances Destined To Fail
Is That You Pete?

It was bound to happen. Jordan, and husband Peter Andre have announced that they are to split up. The couple met on TV reality show 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' which was set in a jungle somewhere in Australia, which was set up by Ant and Dec back when they were popular.

Improbably, Jordan and Andre fell in love and subsequently married in the tackiest wedding ceremony ever held to the east of San Francisco. Two children and a reality TV show followed, but all was not wine and roses.

"It was inevitable they'd break up eventually," Agony Uncle Garfield Spitdribbler told us. "When couples meet in the jungle, it very rarely ever works out, and these people should have known that.

"Look at King Kong - he fell in love several times over the years but he invariably ended up dead. Jungle love - no good. Mowgli out of The Jungle Book, his wife dumped him like a hot potato when he started getting erection problems.
George of The Jungle didn't exactly work out, and Tarzan and Jane have been fighting in the courts for years."

Jordan and Andre appealed to the media to respect their privacy at this difficult time.

Fat fucking chance!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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