It was supposed to be an uneventful day at that big house at the end of the Mall, the one with the big garden and the soldiers. But it would appear that things have gone dreadfully wrong.
Minutes ago, hordes of MI6 men, wearing dark suits, ray-bans, earpieces, and carrying weapons flooded out of the palace and pushed onlookers and reporters alike back to a 250 metre safe distance.
Little quarter was given by these armed thugs who even stooped so low as to push a wheelchair bound person into a shrubbery.
Our investigations revealed that this brutal display of strength and power was provoked by an innocuous old lady who had been invited to lunch.
Apparently, a prince stood up to speak after the luncheon and referred to a second, older prince as "My father."
At which, the old lady apparently cackled:
"He's not your father!"
Like that old lady in the TV ad. Except this time the shit has really hit the fan.
More as we get it.