They hang out at an old fashioned greasy spoon, just off the A1 in North Yorkshire. They used to be one of Britain's most feared motorcycle outlaw gangs, Harley riding hard-men hoodlums, the Hairy Angels.
But the notoriety of this ruthless gang of northern motorcycle monkeys would soon take its biggest hit yet, for when Susan Boyle appeared on Britain's Got Talent and was dubbed the Hairy Angel by the tabloid press, the knock-on effect to the biker gang was earth shattering.
"People used to be feared of us," Hairy Angel Ronnie Roulette confided. "We used to be respected like. Other gangs'd shit theirsens when we showed up, but that fuggin Susan Boyle put paid to all that. We became a laughing stock. Overnight."
The Hairy Angels had built up their awesome reputation over a period of time exceeding thirty years. But now it's over for them.
"We're finished," Gummy Goodfella told us. "Other gangs used to shit a brick at the mention of our name. Now they just giggle and point at our eyebrows, slap their thighs in mirth and ask us to give 'em a song. We've even had busloads o' Japanese tourists filming us and taking the piss. We're finished man. And all because of some dumpy Scottish bint who looks like a dog's arse and sings a bit. It's soul destroying."
"Maybe this can make us stronger, as a gang like," another Hairy Angel told us glumly. "O' course we'd have to change our name. I like the sound of Bobby Davro's Diablos mesen."
More as we get it.