London - (Parliamentary Ass Mess): Ghurkas Minister Phil Woolarse was accused of taking the piss this weekend after his published expenses bill showed claims for more than a thousand pounds per annum on 'Tenner Lady' pantyliners.
The Immigration Ministry stalwart immediately leaked a statement saying the purchases were vital research for a new House of Commons Pantyliner Bill.
This will bolster incontinent Members' chances of staying dry after the hard slog of boozy Parliamentary lunch sessions.
A Colostomy Bag Bill is also underway for all those MPs who regularly shit themselves at the thought of losing their seats at the next General Erection.
"It's all part of the IRA Piss Process," a Palace of Westmonster source commented.