Gordon Brown is said to be troubled by the allegations that he has claimed illegal expenses. Today, full details were released of the Labour Party's expenses over the past year, including some unnecessary costs that were allegedly made by the Prime Minister himself.
Mr Brown said, "As ye may know, I'm a Scot and a tighter dourer man ye ne'er hae met. Ah've kept every single receipt Ah e'er had, help ma boab, and if ane ae them is nae right then Ah take full responsibility. Some people hae protested that Ah claimed extra haggis at yon yearly banquet. Also, there's yon deep fat fryer Ah hud fitted in 10 Dooning Street. But they're nothing but regular expenses. Ye've got nowt on me, ya wee scunners!"