Written by Roy Turse
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Wednesday, 6 May 2009

image for David Cameron's Bike found at Jacqui Smith's House

After a tip-off this morning, police arrived at Jacqui Smith's house and took possession of a silver and black Scott mountain bike. It coincides with a police report that David Cameron's bicycle had been stolen from railings near his home.

Jacqui Smith claimed no knowledge of the bike, stating that it had in fact been found at her sister's house, so could not have anything to do with her.

David Cameron later admitted it wasn't actually his bike, but was one he had borrowed. His own bicycle is in fact the silver one that was stolen ten months ago, when he left it outside a Tesco store. It was subsequently recovered.

It is not known why he was not using his own bike, but Jacqui Smith has said that it is 'reprehensible' that he claims one bike as his primary cycle whilst actually using a second bicycle belonging to someone else as his personal pedalled transport. The Home Secretary also said it was a shame that the police had nothing better to do than make accusations against her. "They could have been fining motorists or arresting Joanna Lumley," she said.

David Cameron was not severely delayed by the loss of the bicycle, because the ministerial car following behind to carry his briefcase and spare cycle clips also had a backup bike in the boot. There were initial concerns that the missing bicycle had been confiscated by police due to a number of previous 'cycling errors' but this turned out not to be the case.

Mr Cameron said that he had been taking Norman Tebbit's advice by getting on his bike and looking for work as Prime Minister, but he was now wondering if it was such a good idea. He said he was probably going to give it up for a bit, but that re-cycling was still a long term aim.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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