The British Confederation Of Undertakers today announced that it is to cut overtime working to zero levels, and is putting the blame squarely on the shoulders of the government. The restrictions have already been applied to gravediggers and coffin makers.
One undertaker told us that he'd lost thousands of pounds as a result of government misinformation.
"It's the swine flu," Undertaker Deadpan Shadrack told us. "We were led to believe that there was going to be a pandemic and that thousands, if not millions were going to die. This now appears to have been greatly exaggerated, but it leaves us in deep shit. We've been investing like the clappers over the last couple of weeks, but there are no bodies to dispose of. Or at least, not as many as we expected."
"I'm gutted," said coffin maker Jimmy Sneddon. "We've been working sixteen hour days, seven days a week, and I've ordered a fitted kitchen and an all inclusive trip to Goa for the family. God knows where the money's going to come from if this pandemic doesn't materialise."
So there you have it. News from all angles on the Spoof.