Officials today refused to grant a licence to a new slimming product developed by Mad Ed's Drug Company. Reasons cited were insufficient clinical trials, unsanitary production facilities, and the likelihood of death for potential users.
The product 'BombPlan B' comes in tablet form and contains the controversial ingredient, nitro glycerine. The theory is that when the pill hits the stomach of the user, the stomach acids cause the tablet to explode, blasting away pounds of unwanted fat. The manufacture recommends it be used outdoors only as it can be messy.
"The problem with this drug," Government Research Chemist Alastair Crowley told us. "Is that the user is invariably killed. Blown up horribly, like that Mister Creosote in 'Monty Python's Meaning Of Liff'" (sic)
Company Director Mad Ed Rhinohorn told us:
"I can't see what the problem is here. The product does exactly what it says on the label. Okay, so it kills the consumer, but we're tweaking the recipe to make it a bit less lethal."
More as we get it.