Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 5 May 2009

image for Rome Police Geared Up For All English CL Final
Roma - Chanting Competition Venue. Yesterday.

Should Chelsea manage to beat Barcelona, thus setting up an all English final in Rome with Manchester United or Arsenal, Rome Police have said that they are well prepared to deal with a large influx of English soccer fans.

Following violent scenes in the Estadio Olimpico a couple of years ago when Manchester United were the visitors, and stabbings in Campo Dei Fiori in the city involving Middlesbrough fans, UEFA are monitoring things closely.

But Rome Police Commissioner Vittorio Del Capone told us:

"We have many activities for the fans. We will arrange for fights with lions in the Colosseum, chariot racing in the Circus Maximus, drag racing on motor scooters down the Via Del Corso, terrace style fighting on the Spanish Steps, drownings at the Trevi Fountain, and chanting competitions in Saint Peter's Square in the Vatican City. For a supplement we will be offering 'batter a Roma gypsy' sessions on the Metro. After the game, fans will be held outside Roma Termini station so that millions of starlings can shit on them."

Sounds like it's going to be a great day.

If you can get tickets.

Update: Chelsea didn't make it, Barcelona did. We'll give you the result when we get it. Rome police looking forward to a reunion with Manchester United supporters.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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