Written by Steddyeddy
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Topics: Identity Cards

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

image for UK ID Cards to be made available for 73p each and not £5 billion as first thought
Mock up of the new UK ID card

The proposed spending by the government on consultants, managers, consultants, management consultants and consultants, all not required to launch the £5 billion ID card fiasco, has been cured by an unknown IT technician from the Chapeltown area of Leeds.

Fidelma Taxreturn, a 24-year old computer graduate from the Leeds Metropolitan University, or as it used to be known, the Yorkshire Tech, has developed a system for producing ID cards on her laptop (4gig memory, 600gig hard-drive, wireless, web camera, DVD super-re-writer, Pandemonium processor and a 14inch screen, only £229 from Netallidl) costing only 73p each.

She has confirmed that her ID cards, taking only 4 days to design and get ready for production, as opposed to the months and months the government is taking, include biometric data, a fingerprint, retinal map, shirt size, DNA sample, urine sample and even SKY+ preferences. They are virtually, if not totally indistinguishable from the real thing, and as soon as the government have completed their official waste of £5 billion, lining the pockets of more people than Simon Cowell has refused an X-Factor audition and launch their ID cards, she is expecting to put the finishing touches to her own designs and have 5 million avaiilable for immediate despatch by the weekend.

They'll be available for £1.50 from any good drug dealer or shop lifter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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