The proposed spending by the government on consultants, managers, consultants, management consultants and consultants, all not required to launch the £5 billion ID card fiasco, has been cured by an unknown IT technician from the Chapeltown area of Leeds.
Fidelma Taxreturn, a 24-year old computer graduate from the Leeds Metropolitan University, or as it used to be known, the Yorkshire Tech, has developed a system for producing ID cards on her laptop (4gig memory, 600gig hard-drive, wireless, web camera, DVD super-re-writer, Pandemonium processor and a 14inch screen, only £229 from Netallidl) costing only 73p each.
She has confirmed that her ID cards, taking only 4 days to design and get ready for production, as opposed to the months and months the government is taking, include biometric data, a fingerprint, retinal map, shirt size, DNA sample, urine sample and even SKY+ preferences. They are virtually, if not totally indistinguishable from the real thing, and as soon as the government have completed their official waste of £5 billion, lining the pockets of more people than Simon Cowell has refused an X-Factor audition and launch their ID cards, she is expecting to put the finishing touches to her own designs and have 5 million avaiilable for immediate despatch by the weekend.
They'll be available for £1.50 from any good drug dealer or shop lifter.