Written by Lettuce
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Tuesday, 5 May 2009

image for Britain Wins - Hurrah
Victory

Gordon Brown the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, declared that after 6 years at war, the UK would be withdrawing troops from Iraq as they had basically won as there was no-way the Iraqis could ever catch up. Especially when only using poxy suicide bombers, instead of proper civilised weapons such as tanks and the like.

Gordon Brown said: "I think history will tell that this war was not about liberating Iraqis, finding weapons of mass destruction or even oil but was simply about blowing up a whole lot of Iraqis and destroying their country, I mean, what else could it be about

"Critics will say that this was an illegal invasion, based on a false pretence of weapons of mass destruction with the ultimate goal being to free up oil in the region. Well they would be wrong, it was an illegal invasion, based on a false pretence of weapons of mass destruction with the ultimate goal being to kill a shitload of Iraqi citizens."

Major Birkenstock of the 3rd battalion stated: "I mean just look at the numbers of American troop deaths, 4000, British troops 178, Iraq deaths estimates range from 90,000 to well over 150,000. But, I mean with that differential who really counts? There's no way they could ever catch up. Although I think those plucky Iraqi's never quite understood the rules, I mean half the time they just went around blowing up other Iraqi's and themselves. We tried our best with Abu Ghraib obviously but we could never compete with the suicide bombers truth be told"

In response to Britain's withdrawal President Obama said: " Well if you fuckers are off there's no way I'm sticking around this hell hole".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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