Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 3 May 2009

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Ti-im I'm Home!

It has been revealed that Loose Women star Denise Welch was accused of conduct unbecoming following a recent night out unaccompanied by hubby Tim Healy, who starred as Dennis in Auf Wiedersehen Pet and played a racist folk singer in Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights.

Welch, who played a barmaid in Corrie and who is currently appearing in the Beeb's Waterloo Road was enjoying herself at last week's Miss Manchester contest at the Palace Hotel, when things started to get ominously out of control.

Wearing a not very flattering red dress, the actress - who gives out relationship advice willy nilly on Loose Women, despite being a self confessed adultress - was snapped licking the ear hole of a DJ named Tim, and suggestively grabbing his crotch.

A little while later she was snapped, glassy eyed, clutching another young man's hand to her somewhat wrinkled tit.

Management received several complaints from young male guests that a drunken peroxide blonde geordie woman was sexually harrassing anybody she could get her claws into.

Vexed husband Tim was last seen soaking his knuckles in vinegar in anticipation of a typical Geordie welcome home party.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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