Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 2 May 2009

image for Foiled Suicide Bomber Presses Assault Charges
Our Cameraman Tripped Over A Cracked Paving Stone As He Took This Shot Of The Mosque

A suicide bomber who shot and injured two police officers here in Kirkuk, northern Iraq has lodged an official complaint and is threatening to press charges against the men who brought him to ground and knocked him unconscious before tying his hands to prevent him detonating his device.

The unnamed man is currently recovering from his ordeal at a Shi'ite Mosque in the city. He told us:

"What those people did to me was wrong. Plain and simple. They violated my human and civil rights by preventing me from blowing myself and probably some others up. They had no right to interfere with me. These people call themselves good Muslims, but when I try to highlight the plight of Muslims everywhere by blowing myself and some other Muslims up, they prevent me from doing it. It is a disgrace."

We spoke to one of the worshippers who was instrumental in bringing the would-be bomber down. He told us:

"He was just a kid. He's probably taken too much notice of the seventy two virgins waiting in heaven for him malarkey. We are good Muslims here. We came to pray today. Not to get blown up."

In a totally unrelated story, four married sisters from China who wondered why they were unable to concieve, were found to have been men all along by doctors...

More as we get it...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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