Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Knife

Friday, 1 May 2009

image for Joanna Lumley Arrested On Knife Charges
There Will Be Blood. Watch Out There's A Gurkha About.

The actress turned political agitator, Joanna Lumley, who appeared as Purdey in the New Avengers and Bolly swigging chain-smoking Patsy in Ab Fab, was arrested today by some policemen on charges of waving a knife about in a public place.

Lumley, who will be 102 years old next week did not resist and cooperated with the police throughout.

The alleged incident took place in London last Wednesday outside the Houses Of Parliament in Westminster. Acting as a spokesperson for ex-soldiers of the Gurkha Regiment who have been denied the right of UK residency, Lumley could be clearly seen waving a kukri - the traditional Gurkha knife with an angular blade, which when unsheathed must by tradition draw blood - about.

A senior police officer expressed concerns that it was highly irresponsible of the actress to wave a knife about in a city where young people are being shanked (stabbed) left' right, and centre at all hours of the day and night.

Lumley was, according to a friend, unrepentant. Stating that her father had worked closely with the Gurkha Regiment, the actress stated that she'd go to the ends of the earth for those men and their families.

Our own research showed that the Gurkhas are a jolly nice bunch of blokes, but you wouldn't want to argue with them.

It is not yet known if charges will be brought.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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