Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Trains

Sunday, 24 May 2009

image for Train Arrives Late, Causing Anger
Filthy devil!

Trouble flared briefly in Birmingham this lunchtime, as passengers waiting for a train became incensed when it didn't turn up on time, leaving them stranded on a platform, and susceptible to all manner of airborne respiratory viruses.

The incident, at Birmingham's New Street station, took place as around 40 people were waiting for the arrival of the 12:36 service to Liverpool Lime Street.

When it became clear that the train had been delayed, the passengers started to get irritable, and grumbling could be heard.

One man in a black coat told a younger man who was eating a Subway sandwich:

"This train's often late!"

The younger man, who was going to see his girlfriend in Runcorn, replied:

"I have an erection."

All this was going on whilst other trains seemed to be coming and going perfectly on time, according to the timetable. A guard who was attending to his duties on the platform informed the passengers that the late running of the train was due to a fatality on the line near Dudley.

When the train finally arrived, 13 minutes en retard, there was a mad rush for seats, and everybody got one, although not everyone got a window seat.

One man was heard to tell the ticket inspector:

"That kid eating the Subway has got a stonk-on!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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