United Kingdom Prime Minister Gordon Brown declared today that the biggest threats to humanity in the context of the modern world were not swine flu or Somali pirates but pesty telemarketers ringing people at inappropriate times.
Brown believes that these "parasites" were hell bent on bringing the planet to its knees by annoying and straight out hair wrenching telephone marketing ploys.
The Prime Minister said that a recent encounter with a telemarketer from a disreputable industry caused him so much pain that he had to make a public statement about it.
"This good for nothing, low life of a creature rang my residence while I was "en coitus" and he didn't even apologise for the timing of the call" Mr Brown said.
When Parliament re sits the Prime Minister is hoping to introduce legislation that will heavily restrict the activity of all telesales organisations. However, many proponents of the industry claim that Mr Brown is simply over reacting and that one bad telephone call doesn't constitute "choking" the other more reputable players.
"If he does go ahead with this threat, then people will think he is a Fascist oligarch" stated Sir Henry Gall-Bladder Bollocks, chairman of Let The Blood Flow, a telesales company that deals in prophylactics.