Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Iraq, Gordon Brown

Thursday, 30 April 2009

image for Iraq 'Open For Business' Says Brown
You take A Merry Gun Express?

In a landmark speech this morning, Prime Minister Gordon Brown finally announced the end of British military combat operations in Iraq, and told massed ranks of reporters that the country was now officially "open for business".

Speaking alongside the Iraqi Prime Minister, Mr Nouri al-Maliki - who looks a bit like Saddam Hussein - Brown said:

"We will now wash our hands of this whole sorry mess, and just hope to God that we don't have to go running in there again."

He spoke of "great opportunities in Iraq" for foreign investors, and for the Iraqi people themselves. All the time he was speaking, his nose was growing.

The PM's choice of words to describe the current situation in the country are rather ironic, taking into consideration the worldwide economic downturn, the pre-existing poverty, and the fact that the only thing Iraq has got that anybody wants, is oil.

Mr Brown finished off his speech by saying:

"It's the land of opportunity, and it gives me great pleasure to declare Iraq officially open for business. Hours of trading will be from 6am to 1am Monday to Saturday, and from 6am until midnight on Sundays. Outside of those hours, traders will happily sell you what little they have, providing you're holding a gun."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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