Written by Bluebella
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Topics: London, elephant

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

image for London Suburb Elephant & Castle to change name due to ridicule
Ellie Font: no-one ever really knew whether her relationship with Prince Castle was more than just friendly.

London - the south-east London suburb of Elephant & Castle is to change its name by the end of this year. Residents of E&C are tired of being ridiculed and bullied for the nonsensical name of their suburb. They also believe the name is no longer relevant, being that that the elephant in question died 200 years ago and the castle in question closed down in 1962. It was demolished in 1973.

The suburb was so named in 1721 when the prince of the local castle, Prince Castle, came back from a trip to India with an orphaned elephant. Back in those days there was little knowledge of exotic animals and so the prince was unaware that the tiny baby elephant, no bigger than a Honda Civic, would eventually grow to the size of a house. He called the elephant Ellie Font. He kept Ellie Font in the back garden of his castle. The two were inseparable, and rumours soon started to circulate that the relationship between Prince Castle and Ellie Font was more than just friendly. The Prince & the elephant both denied the rumours.

The prince was said to be heartbroken when he found Ellie Font dead one morning, after a long battle with Trunk Flu, a sexually transmitted disease. The Prince died soon after, also of Trunk Flu. He was alone and a bit cold (it was December) when he died. In tribute to Prince Castle and Ellie Font, the locals named their suburb Elephant & Castle.

But times have changed and the current residents say its time to move on, to bring their suburb into the 21st Century.

After overwhelming local support and a public vote, Elephant & Castle is being changed to Chav & Council Flat. The change officially goes through on 1st January 2010 and will be reflected on all London Underground Maps, A-Zs and any other geographical map of London.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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