Written by Earl Grey
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Saturday, 25 April 2009

image for Gordon Brown Admits "I've Never Been Kissed"
Gordon Wows The Audience

Government's Got Talent star Gordon Brown has announced that he has never been kissed. He recently shocked the Labour party with his dowdy appearance at the House of Commons. Despite his appearance he aims to win the competition.

He is certainly trying to win the publicity competition. His claim that he has never been kissed has gone all round the world. "I've lived a quiet life as the book keeper of Auchtermuchtie village council. Nobody has ever kissed me."

However the Scum newspaper has dug deep into Brown's past. It has claimed that he once kissed someone only known as Mandy. Brown denies this. "I never kissed Mandy. I just let him feel my bottom. And then I felt his. But we never kissed."

Many think Brown is just trying to fool the voters with his claims of modest and frugal upbringing. Many suspect that he has been kissed many times. But all agree that his voice is incredible. Just hearing those wonderful phrases "Post indigenous growth theory" and "Quantitative easing" can make an audience fall in to a deep slumber.

It remains to be seen if Brown will allow his success to go to his head. A makeover is ok. But the previous winner, Tony Blair, insisted on giving the Labour Party a complete makeover also.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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