Police have issued a video tape of protesters trying to coerce policemen into acting like human beings.
The protesting culprits were tracked down, and when interviewed in police custardy (which was very sticky and lumpy) said "We don't discuss money. We can't eat money. We are attempting to turn on that extra little light in the head that reminds these people that we are all the same race - that we all need each other and that we could cooperate together'.
'We have discovered that most of the blokes who have to wear all of that uncomfortable riot gear, and stand in front of people hurling abuse and Molotov cocktails, would actually prefer sitting at home watching the tele with a six-pack.'
A spokesman on behalf of the undercover police said 'The big problem that we have now is that our under cover police have become so good that we cannot tell the under from the cover, so the entire video is a hoax to make people believe that the police have all their flashing lights turned on.
It turns out that the 'protesting culprit' was an undercover policewoman.