Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 24 April 2009

image for Susan Boyle to Auction Off Locks of Armpit Hair, Dress for Jade Goody Fund
"We consider it a privilege to assist Ms. Boyle in finding a buyer for her articles."

LONDON, U.K. - Susan Boyle today pledged to place two locks of her armpit hair up for auction to benefit the recently founded Jade Goody Reality Star Fund. Ms. Boyle made the announcement while attending the surprisingly successful Bullocks of Slopshire auction of Hitler's artwork.

Boyle says the locks will be freshly shampooed and, as always, braided. Removal of the locks is part of an ongoing attempt to make over the newly discovered starlet who many have described as "frumpy," with a "cowboy-like gait."

Also up for grabs will be the gigantic beige doily and white heels Ms. Boyle wore for her now world-famous night on "Britain's Got Talent."

"We consider it a privilege to assist Ms. Boyle in finding a buyer for her articles," said Phillip Duke Edinburgh, a textile and clothing expert for Bullocks.

Experts predict sale of the items will fetch $40-75,000.

Make The San Francisco Onion's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 1?

7 4 20 21
59 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more