Chris Moyles has been indirectly outed as a fat, sweaty, hairy minge by his bosses at that Radio Place.
Moyles who has recently been castigated by his bosses for being 'rubbish' and the Miss Piggy's vagina of the Beeb, stated "Yes okay, I have been a big pudding gash for years, but I thought no-one would have noticed. I originally started life on an obese hairy sow in Florence, but some how I found myself working at the Beeb, talking about fanny, acting like a fanny because I was indeed a fanny. I can't do much really. All I know how to do... is fanny-stuff and delude myself that I am needed. I suppose men don't really need fannies and ladies have fannies of their own. Oh God I am so lonely. Someone love me without looking at my money".
Moyles' bosses stood behind the great big hairy gash - albeit holding their noses "We have many c*nts working at the Beeb and if we sacked people like Moyles for being a pussy our output would consist of re-runs of Dad's Army and Steptoe and Son. Our radio output would grind sharply to a halt. No we shall keep him as we did with Jonathan Ross and the biggest gash of all Brand".
Moyles, is currently working on his latest project - an intimate feminine product on commercial TV. Inside sources say he will be demonstrating a pessary that makes 'irritating minges' a thing of the past. Let us all pray it works on the delusion, rancid, giant twat.