Written by Earl Grey
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Sunday, 19 April 2009

image for Boycott Threatens Racism Conference
The Conference Was Poorly Attended

The United Nations was left reeling today from a savage verbal attack from Geoffrey Boycott. The former England opening batsman launched an angry tirade on the eve of a racism conference.

"How can they talk seriously about dealing with racism throughout the world when they can't even agree to all turn up. It's bloody rubbish is that. The Israelis wont turn up because the Arabs will accuse them of racism. The Americans wont turn up in order to support the Israelis. The Russians threaten all their neighbors. And the British have sent Dale Winton. No, this wont do. You need to play together as a team. Someone opens the batting. Then have a few who can play a few strokes. Then have a safe pair of hands, some skillful spinners and a couple of fast talkers. Sorted."

Boycott is well known for having opinions on absolutely everything. However, this would appear to be the first step on a possible election campaign. With voter apathy at an all time high Boycott could be the voice of discontented Britain. Or he may be just a Yorkshireman who talks about cricket.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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