Written by Earl Grey
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Sunday, 19 April 2009

image for Capital Punishment - Will It Return To Our Schools?
The line outside the headmaster's study was unusually busy that morning.

There are suggestions that Gordon Broon is considering the reintroduction of capital punishment in the nation's schools. The moral breakdown of society and the growing lack of discipline in our schools are partly to blame. Broon also needs to find something for the Police to do when there are no major protests in London.

Spoof.com asked several people for their opinions on capital punishment. Davis David, right wing Conservative MP and secret SAS man (he doesn't like to talk about it) said "I was thrashed. The last time was at party conference by Anne Widdybum. I'm all for it. When I was in the jungle with the SAS....."

Sir Booby Robson, football legend and professional old bloke said "If I were a headmaster I'd say to Gazza 'Come back to my study young man'. Once there I'd give him a Worther's Original. He would be fine then."

Kerry Katonic the pop star turned supermarket queen said "I get caned most nights."

KP Nuts the cricket superstar currently in South Africa for Plenty Plenty said "I would try to hit them for six of the best. Send them back to the pavilion. Then make them carry the drinks. For me and Freddie Flintstone in the bar afterwards. Hey, how much are you paying me for this?"

Clax Mifford, publicist, said "If any child wants to sell their story after being beaten I am available for the usual 20%."

The nation is divided on the topic. It will be a controversial decision. But as children cannot vote Broon is not too bothered what they think about it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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