Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Law

Thursday, 16 April 2009

image for Tell Em You Know Nowt, Barrister Advises Client
Spiritual Home Of Sombre Men Who Wear Comedy Wigs.

A client facing serious charges was this morning advised by a prominent barrister to "say nowt" in court.

The accused's brother told me: "What's that all about? We're paying this bloke six grand a day to represent our kid in court on charges of 'serious behaviour likely to endanger life' and all he can say is to say nowt? In my book, that's a rip off."

Duty Solicitor Edwin Banger told me: "Don't ask me to comment, I'm about as much use as a chocolate teapot."

The case continues, presided over by a rather serious chap, ironically wearing a comedy wig.

Susan Boyle, Britain's Got Talent star from Blackburn, Lancs told me: "All he had to do was deny all knowledge and he'd have saved himself six grand a day."

Members of the legal profession were unavailable for comment today, but a bloke with a dog drinking Special Brew from a can told me: "Get away from me ya fuggin baaaaas!" in a Glaswegian accent a bit like a pissed up version of Billy Connolly.

More when we regain the courage of our supposed convictions.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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