Just in. (They actually woke me up from a lovely nap.) - Celebrity TV chef Marco Pierre White, who despite his exotic sounding name was actually brought up on a dead rough council estate in Leeds is to have his trademark bandana surgically removed on the orders of none other than PM Gordon Brown himself.
White, or 'Chalky' as he's known to childhood friends was outraged.
"This is ridiculous!" he snarled.
The top chef, who is allegedly not only merciless, but also extremely accurate when it comes to shooting deer, told me: "I'll fight this all the way."
PM Gordon Brown riposted: "Bandanas are unhygeinic in a kitchen based setting, particularly when serving members of the public on a reality TV celebrity chef based cooking extravaganza. The bandana has to go. I've spoken with BO about this and he's in total accord. God bless him."
Gordon Ramsay, keen rival celeb chef told us: "The bandana is fucking disgusssssssssssssssting. It has to go."
To which Marco Pierre White responded: "Don't put that loser in my face. He didn't have the bottle to shoot Bambi. With a big gun. Twat."
President Obama was too busy with a pooper scooper to comment.
Quite frankly, we think it's all bollocks.
More when we have something interesting to convey.