The Interior Ministry of Great Britain thought it prudent to reassure the country's citizens about the recent hug received by Her Majesty from the United States first lady, Michelle Obama, so this is to be published in all major United States and British newspapers and on all major TV networks.
The hugging or the more socially acceptable "arm around", even though it wasn't covered thoroughly at the time nor filmed and slowed down as has other major incidents (For instance, the Kennedy assassination and the equally famous "Hail Mary Touchdown Pass" referring to a now legendary pass by Dallas Cowboys Quarterback, Roger Staubach, that resulted in the Cowboys last minute upset win in the 1975 NFL Divisional Playoff Game between the Dallas Cowboys and Minnesota Vikings, come to mind), only the future will reveal that it will be necessary as I've forgotten the subject.
Ahem!! However, what we're getting at here is that there is absolutely no scientific evidence that the "arm around" is related to, or associated with, disasters or catastrophes," the Ministry wishes to warn in this press release. Furthermore, completely ignore that stupid Bunion press release that follows because it's the law to publish a small-pinheaded opposite opinion.
Our newspaper "Bunion On The Toe" has not found the previous message from the government particularly reassuring.
"Government bulletins rarely are in touch with reality, especially when it comes to anyone but the "Bunion", our paper's editor has editorialized, "So if we're not careful the world just might come to an end at any second now. Gather in the young ones. Blow the shofar!"