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Monday, 13 April 2009

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The true extent and contents of the emails and blogs by Damian McOmen of the Labour party were revealed earlier today. Mr McOmen has retired from politics as a result.

The Prime Minister was first in to apologies saying that it was actually not a smear campaign, but a continuance following Jade Goody's death that all women should have a smear test. He said that the Daily Mail took this up wrongly.

Also, the Prime Minister felt that the emails and blogs weren't really all that bad. He questioned what was wrong with a member of the Labour Party saying in a blog "Ya Boo. Dave the rave's taste in music sucks". Mr Brown said this could be referring to any Dave. Or even a chap whose first name was Cameron and had nothing to do with politics.

He also said that he actually found it rather funny that one blog asked "If Shadow Cabinet chappy Mr Osborne was to emigrate to Australia, would we have to call him Ozzy." He questioned what the harm in that was.

The Conservatives were quick to retort by saying that the Labour Party wouldn't like it if a Conservative blog were to suggest Labour had ruined the country, privatised it to hell, allowed management and computer consultants to bleed the treasury dry, rescued inept banks while paying ex-directors a fortune in pensions, ruined the trains, knackered pensions and allowed people called Ruth Kelly to become Secretaries of State. Oh No!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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