Written by Norfolk'n'Clue
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Topics: China, English

Monday, 28 June 2004

An english gentleman has claimed that he now "sells all the tea in China to China".

"It came about when I was chatting in the pub. I had been talking about the possiblity of starting a tea selling business. A mate I was talking to then told me that I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of making money selling tea, and that you wouldn't catch him starting a business for all the tea in china. Which gave me an idea."

Long-Wa Tseng realised he was onto a winner when he went to china and saw the poor quality of packaging. "What I noticed was that they had all this tea coming out of their ears, but it was packaged so badly. They just used cardboard, with a hand painted watercolour copydexed to the front, and all that jazz. Inside was a muslin bag, filled with the product. I thought to myself, "Easy pickings!"."

"Next thing I knew, I had paid my interior decorator mate 50 quid to come up with a new box design, I bought a heat sealing device, and started importing tea from China."

It was a simple job from there. "All I had to do was convince the chinese that packaging it more prettily actually makes the product taste as fresh as a daisy. I pulled out all the stops; after then, it was a piece of cake."

Mr. Tseng's business has grown, to the extent that he now buys all of China's tea to sell back to them. "They haven't cottoned to that yet", he added.

When asked by our reporter if Long-Wa got tired of talking in Idioms, he replied, "Not on your nelly. It will be a cold day in hell when that happens."

Chairman Mao is 98.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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