Teachers have decided to bunk off school. The announcement was met with chants of "No More School!", "Sats Your Lot" and "Schools Out!"
The teachers have become upset at the way the schools are being run. Education chiefs were quick to condemn the action. "If a teacher does not turn up we expect to see a note from their mum regarding this matter. They are letting the children down, the schools down and themselves down. I don't care how long it takes. They are only wasting their own time."
The government has responded by not allowing teachers to go out to play during break time. Instead they will have to remain in class and write out 100 times 'Sats are good. They help the Government to fiddle the figures'.
Parents are not pleased with the disruption. John Cole, whose children attend Nova Mews Primary, said "They need six of the best, across my knee. Especially Miss Milne the French teacher."
Gordon Broon has stepped into the argument. "Teachers need to understand that they choose their vocation as one of service. They should not look to be gaining any extra benefits from their work..... oh bollocks, that's meant to be about politicians."
St Elvis of the Memphis Miracle 90 points
Nova Mews Primary 60 points
Luton Islamic Comprehensive 40 points
West Bromwich Albion 10 points