Huddersfield, W Yorks - (Pie-in-the-Sky Mess): Ex-UK Deputy Prime Monster John Prescott has blamed militant vegan Al-Qaeda terrorists for the blast which killed a 37-year-old Huddersfield pie factory worker this week.
Prescott says he's seen evidence that a genetically-modified Semtex substitute was masquerading as Halal goatsucker flesh.
This was to have formed the basis of a novelty Easter Bunny Pie that blasted to smithereens the factory's cooling plant and nuclear reactor.
"The Vegan branch of Al-Qaeda has turned increasingly pesky of late," the UK's new anti-terror chief commented today.
"A relentless diet of dodgy Tora Bora lentils and Helmand mayonnaise veggie-burgers may have stewed their brains."
Princess Beatrice is in a state of catatonic shock.