Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Politics, BNP

Friday, 10 April 2009

image for BNP Warn Of Harmless Threat
Are Labour Flagging? Can They Raise Their Standards?

The BNP today warned its followers of a potential threat from Labour politician Harriet Harmless. A briefing note was wrapped in a brick and flung through the winow in a bid to communicate with their diehard voters Adolf and Eva Bonkers, of Burnley.

BNP spokesperson Martin Boringman said "Harmless could be a real threat now that she is telling people not to vote for us. It's a really clever ploy. Ruin the country and force people to look to us. Then, when we relax, come out and tell them not to vote for us. Our party is not sophisticated enough to attempt such a stunt."

Harmless has been thought to be a threat to electoral votes before. At the last Labour conference it was suggested that Labour would lose votes if she remained as a prominent member.

Spoof.com went out onto the streets to see if Harmless was right. We first met John Cole of Nova Mews. "Oh yes, I'll be voting BNP. It's the only party I can spell. No I don't know what their policies are. But one of their leaders spoke at the Lord Nelson recently. Then we all went for a curry. So I know where my vote will go."

One of Mr Cole's neighbours. Charlie Patel, was not so pleased. "Harmless is brainless. What we need are real reasons to vote Labour. Just saying that a bunch of crooks will get in is not enough. We've already got McNulty, Smith, Cohen and Darling. We will not notice any change."

Harmless was asked to comment. "People need to understand that when we said 'British Jobs For British People' we were trying to steal votes from the BNP. Now we are trying to stop the BNP from stealing them back."

The BNP is expected to gain seats in the forthcoming European elections. This news worries numerous MEPs. Spoof.com wanted to speak to them, but nobody knows who any of them are.

Latest poll: Labour 10% Conservative 10% Lib Dem 10% BNP 10% Tom and Camilla 60%

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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